This story just gets me scratching my head:
The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency asked its employees in Denver this year to stop leaving a dangerous pollutant – human feces – in office hallways, according to a report that circulated on Wednesday.
Managers in the EPA’s Region 8 office in Denver, Colorado emailed their entire staff to plead a cease-and-desist case for whoever had been pooping and fleeing.
Government Executive reported that EPA Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor addressed ‘several incidents’ in the office building at 1595 Wynkoop Street in Denver.
Employees, he wrote, had been clogging toilets with paper towels. And there was ‘an individual placing feces in the hallway’ outside a restroom.
OK, let’s delve into the realm of scatology for a bit. As a cis-male I will note that the world is my urinal. Peeing on anything from the office ficus, firing it over the rail of a ship at sea, or writing my name in the freshly fallen snow is a relatively easy task. When dealing with waste disposal of the other operation things get much more difficult. In Western society we are not accustom to squatting and I will say most of us do not have the musculature and coordination to leave solid waste behind with such coordination or ease. Thankfully Western establishments have furnishings designed to accept number two operations. These units (called “Toilets”) are also filled with water to ease removal of the unwanted material and to keep odor down.
To place feces in a common area one would need to squat in the area, or somehow crap and relocate the waste from a more private location, including fishing it out of a toilet. This really starts sounding a lot like work, yet there it is!
These are people working for the US Government!
Thhhhhhhaat’s Denver!