Mitt Romney Wins the GOP Nomination

All hopes for a Brokered convention are over. Rick “I hate Fags” Santorum has suspended his Presidential Campaign.

Newt Gingrich has been circling the drain for several weeks now and political commentators have noticed his increasing use of the past tense when talking about his miserable political campaign. Barring a Sanatorium Enforcement where Gingrich will get Santorum’s acquired delegates (and still be in 2nd Place) this Romney has won.

God have mercy on us all.

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27 Responses to Mitt Romney Wins the GOP Nomination

  1. Jack says:

    Given how the GOP field has been winnowed, this has really just been a race to determine the form Gozer the Traveler takes.

    So this just means the giant Sloar is off the table and means is we’re looking between the moving Torb and the Staypuff Marshmellow man.

    • ExurbanKevin says:

      Soda -> Keyboard.

      :)

      If we can safely land the U.S. and avoid the brilliant flameout that is Italy/Greece/Portugal, I’m okay with Romney. No perfect, but beats the alternative.

      His VP choice is going to be *crucial*. Personally, I’m hoping for Allen West.

      • Weerd Beard says:

        I just lost my shit with the Gozer reference.

        I Think Romeny stands for everything Obama stands for…but with Partisan Support.

        I’m just hoping Gary Johnson runs as a Libertarian so I won’t haven the pain of voting for Obama, because I WILL NOT vote for Romney.

        • Jake says:

          Ditto, ditto, and ditto.

          And Kevin, I’m rapidly starting to fear that we’ve passed the safe landing point and are moving quickly towards “flaming wreckage”. I’m just hoping that we can manage a water landing and swim clear before the fuel tanks go up, and I don’t think that whoever wins the White House will have any effect on that at all.

    • wfgodbold says:

      Hilarious!

      And it reminded me of this excellent Despair t-shirt (which I would get if I wore t-shirts more often).

  2. Kevin Baker says:

    Five words why I’ll mark the box next to “Romney”:

    Supreme Court Justice Eric Holder

    It’s that “fuel tanks exploding” thing.

    And Jack? That Gozer thing? Quote of the Day.

    • Kevin, you think that Romney wouldn’t nominate Holder for SCOTUS? Honestly I think that Romeny hate’s guns just as much as Obama. I think Romney would give Holder a SCOTUS nomination just to make him comfortable for retirement.

      • Weerd Beard says:

        I don’t know about Holder, But Barron is 100% correct, he hates guns just as much as Barry-O does. Except Romney would have the votes from all those old-guard Republicans who think Washington crossed the Delaware so he could get to his duck blind, and no honest man needs a handgun smaller than a canned ham!

      • Kevin Baker says:

        No, I don’t think he’d nominate Holder. He’d nominate somebody squishy who will move more and more left over time.

        • Weerd Beard says:

          If anybody would nominate another Justice David Souter, it would be President Willard Romney.

          • Kevin Baker says:

            That I won’t disagree with, but not even Souter would be as bad as an Eric Holder or equivalent.

            The Senate races this year are crucial, but we absolutely positively cannot afford another four years of Obama.

            • Sailorcurt says:

              I disagree.

              We’ve been on the long slide for a long time. We’re nearing the bottom. We’re WAY past the point of no return.

              Romney as the “conservative” alternative demonstrates that more clearly than anything I could articulate.

              Basically, our society is headed for the crash and has been for years, the only difference is how fast we get there.

              I’m beginning to feel that I’d prefer to get there sooner rather than later. With every generation, our kids are being indoctrinated and brainwashed into further believing that the Government is the answer to all our ills, that human beings, when left to our own devices, will destroy ourselves and the earth, that it is more noble to be cared for and kept than to live in freedom and face all of the risks, benefits, consequences and rewards of same.

              Perhaps it’s better to keep the “faster” version in charge and let us rush into the void headlong, while there are still at least a few free-thinkers around to give us even a semblance of a chance of getting back on the right track after the dust settles.

              Granted, the odds of that happening are extremely slim, but they’re better in this generation than they will be in the next, or the next, or the next.

              Everything that has a beginning has an end.

              The end of our little experiment in liberty is in sight. It is unavoidable at this point IMHO, it’s only a question of how long it takes to get there.

              Are we content to keep things as comfortable for ourselves as possible as we trudge slowly toward oblivion? Because that seems to me like what is being advocated by those desperate to get Obama out of office.

              Be electing Romney, we’d not be averting, only kicking the can down the road and leaving our mess for someone else to try to clean up.

              Again.

              • Weerd Beard says:

                I couldn’t agree more, Curt! My biggest concern is that those who run campaigns and advise candidates NEVER give themselves a failing grade.

                When John McCain won the GOP nom the campaign dorks all saw it as a mandate on RINOs re-branded as “Mavericks” or “Moderates”. When McCain got stomped they simply pointed to the cult of Personality that Obama had and declared McCain as simply out-matched.

                Any wonder why we had an abundance of RINO swine in this seasons buffet?

                If Romney ends up winning it will simply be because Obama isn’t, and never was the man the “Progressives” and various moderates, and racists thought he was, and voted for, and they are disappointed enough to sit this one out, or vote for somebody else. And the people who will vote for Romney will do it because they are terrified of Obama as a God-Emperor.

                Of course the campaign dorks will call it a “Mandate” on RINOS, and not only will Romney run again in 2016, but there will be yet another RINO running in 2020, if all that crap is successful. Further Obama’s great “Progressive” campaign will be considered a HUGE success so whoever runs for the Donks will be all fighting to see who can stand further to the left of Lennin (John or Vladimir, it doesn’t matter).

                Meanwhile look at John Kerry’s defeat in 2004. They saw that as a defeat by an unpopular president, and that they needed to switch gears. We didn’t like it, but you saw the excitement from the “Progressives” about Obama.

                I’m hoping that MAYBE a crushing defeat for Romney might cause the same sort of shake-up inside the GOP.

                Also on further note, we are NOT electing a God Emperor, we are simply electing another man to stand as the head of the executive branch while the other three branches continue to work. they’re all involved and it all has meaning, but the Presidency is not a Monarchy, and further while people talk about fears of an Obama who isn’t concerned about re-election passing Draconian legislation, I personally see it more likely as a President who likes to party and vacation no longer being afraid at what people think of his sloth and self-importance.

                If this asshole had to fight tooth-and-nail to get JUST the Healthcare bill passed with a Supermajority, I’m actually less concerned about his next four years.

    • Jack says:

      Wooo!

      Quote of the day, garbled grammar included!

      Have we reached the point where we need to cross the streams?

    • Jake says:

      I assume you’ll want this t-shirt, then.

  3. Thirdpower says:

    There was never any chance of a brokered convention, the ‘choice’ was always Romney.

  4. Vector says:

    Cthullu 2012! I’m pretty sure he’d be the lesser of three evils…

    • Kevin Baker says:

      I like Cthulu’s foreign policy of killing everyone and destroying everything, but I don’t like his domestic policy of killing everyone and destroying everything.

  5. Pingback: I need this t-shirt. « Curses! Foiled Again!

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