“We took 100 soldiers. 25 were Special Forces qualified and had beards, 25 were Special Forces qualified without beards, 25 were regular Army allowed to grow beards for the study, and the last 25 were regular Army without beards. All 100 of these subjects were in direct combat in Afghanistan during the study.”
He continued, “Xegis Solutions had several teams of researchers embedded with these troops to make observations on their combat effectiveness. The results were overwhelming, out of the 50 soldiers with beards, zero were wounded or killed and they had a significantly higher accuracy of fire than the soldiers without beards. The soldiers lacking beards had a higher rate of weapons malfunctions and basically, shit went wrong most of the time.”
CENTCOM wasted no time establishing a new rule forcing males to grow beards.
OK that last bit makes me think they’re pulling my leg. Still I stand behind my Beard, and my personal claim that it gives me my supernatural powers!
Also in all seriousness I will note that in a time when it is fashionable for men to shave their bodies, I have let my fields go fallow because if there wasn’t supposed to be hair growing there nature wouldn’t have put it there!
I do shave the margins of my beard because it makes me look a bit more presentable when there are nice sharp lines at the edges, and I keep both my beard and head hair short because I don’t like much more preparation before I go out the door for work than getting dressed, brushing my teeth and doing a press-check on my carry gun.