So I wasn’t feeling so hot last night, and decided to forgo both B-B & Guns and Vicious Circle and turned in early.
Well the wife had finally given in to curiosity and rented Twilight. We HAD to watch it!
OMG I was not disappointed at how bad it is!
First up, I’ve been a Kristen Stewart fan since I fist saw her in Panic Room, but the director, Catherine Hardwicke managed to coax a few very bad performances from her.
The one complaint I’ve read about the books is that the characters are one-dimensional, and the relationship between Bella and Edward is the type of dangerous, obsessive, and controlling teenage relationships that all should avoid.
Also the wife and I were AMAZED that there were deleted scenes, as the pacing in the film could only be measured on the geological scale. The movie was 2 hours long, and could be easily be scaled down to 40 mins without any loss of plot. Tho this comes VERY close
Also Robert Pattinson is one of the ugliest men in showbuisness. Seriously I suspect his Mom did a whole lot of drugs while pregnant and attempted to abort him with hairspray.
Needless to say after watching this movie I actually had a strong desire for vampires to be real….so I could devote my life to killing them!
PS: The Mrs. Weer’d Review: “Well I guess I won’t have to waste my time with the other movies!”
Those books can be summarized in 40 pages or less each as well; however, the awful-ness must be appreciated in it’s own full scale grandeur. I believe the author has the mental age of a teen, and that is how she can write the cheesy angst full of plot holes that well.
Sooooo many of those teen books about vampires and stuff have similar plots now as well. I don’t really give a crap about the supernatural aspect or evil, but I can’t stand the way they all seem to highlight unhealthy and seriously controlling relationships. By the last book in the series I wanted to be able to walk up to Bella and try to slap the stupid out of her. I mean, sure, Alice seems like she would be cool to spend time with- but Edward is such a dink. And movie-wise I can’t stand Robert Patterson either. He always tries to pose in pictures and on TV with a smoldering look, that only comes off as arrogant bastard to me. Hot- no way in hell.
I hate that whole vampires sparkling thing too. And the wolves. 🙁 That could have been done SO much better.
Again, I want vampires to be real so I can hunt and kill them!
The Mrs. Review was the best: “Well I guess I won’t have to waste my time with the other movies!”
And if that is all the worse vampires were, it wouldn’t be too hard to hunt and kill them.
Yeah, I’d hope they’d be at least more of the Buffy sort, as androgynous sparkly emo Vampires don’t seem very impressive.
The shape-shifting Bram Stoker ones seem like they’d be a BITCH to hunt and kill.
Go over to Borepatch’s, he’s got a trailer for the next video you should watch with the Missus 🙂
Wow, I’m impressed by both of you! I only managed to sit through about twenty minutes of the movie. I have read the first two books of the series, because I promised my twins I’d try, but it took me about two weeks to read the first one, and considering my normal reading speed, that says a LOT! Ugh. I hate it that this crap is so popular.
yea, well, I was nice enough to buy tickets to the first one as a kinda ‘date night’ for my wife and I. She read all the books and liked them, so I figured “hey, at least it’ll get me brownie points, so it can’t be THAT bad”
WRONG!!!!
I had just finished reading MHI about 2-3 weeks before that, so I was constantly hoping for Owen and Julie to come around the corner and open fire. The worst part is that we had a ROW FULL of middle-age ex-cheerleaders wearing glitter makeup all over themselves that would audibly swoon everytime that sparkly faggot got on the screen….
My mom decided a few months ago that she would buy the second movie on DVD as a gift for my wife, so while I was working on some stuff on my computer one night, my wife put that travesty on….. It was WORSE than the first one and they glorify the stupid chick’s inability to MOVE ON after a boy dumps her… not only is he CGI TERRIBLE but it’s glorifying girls that are trying to commit suicide?!?!?!?!?!?!?! because some emo-sparkly-bloodsucker broke up with her?!?!?!?!?!?!
I had to immediatly grab my guns and walk out the back door to get some recoil therapy….. OMG it was horrible… BTW, it was NOWHERE NEAR worth the brownie points…..
Yeah I won’t be watching the next one. You have my sympathy, Brother!