A bit of a bizarre one, but I don’t mind really.
William Goetzee, 48, was arrested Aug. 2 outside federal court after he tried to snatch a gun from a federal security officer. During the attempt to get the gun, he told the officer he wanted to kill himself.
If all guns were banned, then he wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place!
Marc Ehrhardt, a spokesman for Gusman, said that when someone is placed on suicide watch at the jail, they are supposed to be under constant supervision. This means under supervision “24 hours a day,” he said.
The jail suspended a deputy who was charged with observing Goetzee, according to a news release. The deputy, whom the release did not name, left his post for an undisclosed period of time, the release said.
The jail’s preliminary investigation found Goetzee “surreptitiously swallowed toilet tissue” on Sunday. While an autopsy is still pending from the Orleans Parish coroner’s office, the jail concluded that Goetzee was able to asphyxiate himself with the tissue paper.
When those looking to restrict freedom quote “Gun Death” numbers they usually include suicides, and make claims that by removing guns from society, they’ll also remove suicide.
Well there’s a solution that will keep us all safe!
h/t to Barron who also was cleaver enough to mention the three Seashells when he sent me this story.
Of all the random-assed unexplained things to leave unexplained, that one is perhaps the most perplexing…
If they explained it it wouldn’t still be funny!