My parents always warned me about rock music.
Police have made an arrest in Austin’s ninth homicide of the year. Police say a man was beaten to death with an electric guitar….Fisher says his roommate had been drinking with the man upstairs, and he thinks he knows what led to the murder.
“He started making sexual advances toward me and him, and they became violent,” said Fisher.
Police say another possible motive is robbery.
Its only common sense that we ban electric guitars! People can still play music with lighter acoustical guitars, and that would stop this senseless violence!
Of course we know “Gun Death” is bullshit. The person commits the crime, not the tool, and if they don’t have a gun, they reach for a guitar in this case. Claiming the tool is somehow relevant in this case is the mark of a fool.
Pete Townshend and Keith Richards had no comments on the situation…
My guitar has never killed anyone, but my playing has them running for the exit in droves.
Guitarist 1: Do you play professionally?
Guitarist 2: No, only to kill time.
Guitarist 1: Well, the way you play, that’s quite a weapon you have there.
*rimshot*
So we could say at this point that 11.1% of Austin homicides are committed w/ musical instruments. That’s about 3x as high as ‘Assault Weapons’ are nationally.
The Gibson Guitar Lobby?
2 observations:
1. Guitars are occasionally referred to as “axes”, which may lead to the violence inherent in the system.
2. 9? Austin is way behind. Here, in a Major City in Lower Alabama we’re up to 26 this year. They need to get crackin’.
Who needs electric guitars, anyway? You can’t hunt with them*! 😉
*Although you might be able to attract groupies….