Only Ones

Saw this on the tabloids at the grocery store.

This week, tabloid speculation about the state of Kate’s uterus has reached a fever pitch, with one claiming that she’s already with child and another reporting that she will announce a pregnancy within three months. But The Globe hilariously one-ups them all, claiming that Kate doesn’t just have a bun in the oven — she also has a gun!

According to The Globe (via CelebDirtyLaundry.com), because “there is a plot afoot to kidnap Prince William,” Kate (who they claim is definitely preggers, although there’s no word on how far along she is) has been issued a firearm for her own safety. She is also allegedly receiving “special martial arts training” — although given how, um, willowy she is, it’s hard to imagine her being able to roundhouse kick a would-be kidnapper.

So where exactly does the Duchess keep the gun? When she’s in public, she doesn’t carry a huge handbag that a firearm would fit in; she’s normally seen with a very small clutch that can’t hold anything more than a lipstick, cell phone and some cash.

Wow, so this is a twofer. First, kinda neat where in the UK where ordinary people can’t even OWN a handgun, one of the newly minted member of the state’s pet welfare family has a toter’s permit, and is “issued” a gun!

Further the tabloid person is smart enough to get that a wisp like Kate probably wouldn’t be much good in hand-to-hand combat (that’s why I carry a gun!) but doesn’t seem to get that people carry guns all the time in free countries and pea-brains like her wouldn’t get the first inclination where that gun may be.

Hey, UK we threw the royals out on their asses. It did us good! Maybe you should give it a shot?

This entry was posted in Guns, Politics, Safety, Self Defense. Bookmark the permalink.

0 Responses to Only Ones

  1. Publius says:

    I’m really not sure that the royal family is the problem–it’s Parliament. Technically, the Queen can dissolve Parliament and withhold royal assent to any legislation, but those powers have not been exercised in forever and there is a fairly strong undercurrent of antiroyalist sentiment that surfaces from time to time. It’s probably a pretty sure bet that if she were to actually use these powers, the monarchy would soon lose them. I don’t know quite where the Queen stands personally on the issue, but Prince Phillip left a few choice quotes relating to guns:

    “A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.” (1999)

    “If a cricketer suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, are you going to ban cricket bats?” (after the Dunblane massacre in 1996)

    “We didn’t have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun. You just got on with it!” (1995)

    I think I’m missing a good one or two, but it sounds to me like he has his head on straight on this issue.

    • Rob Crawford says:

      The problem is Prince Charles, who is apparently as big a douchebag as you’d imagine.

      I don’t really mind the royals — as Joel Rosenberg once wrote, “The biggest advantage of a monarchy — perhaps its only advantage — is that occasionally you get someone who doesn’t want to be ruler.” Contrast that with the clutching clowns who plan their lives around being president…

      • Weerd Beard says:

        The problem is basing a system of government on bloodline. You have the Royal Family which have mostly just become national mascots kept as elaborate pure-breed pets for the paparazzi and tourists to mug at. But the big issue is the house of Lords which is vaguely similar to the US Senate…but is set by birthright.

        So no mater how many immigrants flood into the UK, they will never have true representation in the house.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *