Getting ready for another Squirrel Report!
Go follow that link for all the news stories, they’re good, and you’ll enjoy them. But what will be MORE enjoyable is if YOU call in. 214-530-0036
This is a good one. Tell us “What is Joe Biden whispering to Stephanie Carter?”
So yeah, come up with your answer and let your fingers do the walking across your dial pad at 9p EST for THE SQUIRREL REPORT!!!
When will we have sensible hammer control?
Police say 38-year-old **REDACTED** killed his girlfriend Sunday evening by hitting her with a hammer.
A hammer, a tool not only found in every home in America, often completely unsecured, but can be bought in countless stores without so much as the cashier inquiring what the buyer plans to do with it, let alone a “Common Sense” background check.
Hell I had a kid’s tool kit growing up that had a real-deal cast steel hammer in it, along with some other tools. They were kid-sized and cheap as all get out (I ended up snapping the head of the hammer when banging on stuff one day), but this was a CHILDREN’S TOY!!
Of course anybody with some REAL common sense knows that it isn’t the tool, it’s the person who misuses it.
Might be some Wild Turkey in my glass.
Scott Biram keeps getting better every album he puts out!
The Brooklyn man charged with fatally beating his wife’s 3-year-old daughter allegedly called 911 posing as a neighbor reporting two unruly children — but the man’s uncle defended the suspect as “not a monster!”
Yes he is, and so are the people who passed New York’s gun control laws under the guise that it would STOP crimes like this.
Not this Kirby
But THIS Kirby.
So my friend Rockstar got visited by a Kirby salesman, and when she was asked for contacts for potential sales, my name was given. She feels guilty about this, but I have no issue with this.
So a gay friend of mine told me a great joke. It goes: “Every man has a gay trait. Some men like buying stuff for their kitchen. Some like fancy outfits. Some like show tunes. Others like to have sex with men!”
For me it’s Vacuums. I have a really nice Dyson, and I LOVE using it. Also my dearly departed Aunt got conned into buying one of these overpriced vacuums, and my Mom got called for one of these sales pitches, and given that you get a rug cleaned for free, she agreed, then told the salesman to fuck off.
So yeah, when I got called I scheduled an appointment for today because my daughter had tracked blackberries all over the rug.
Another back story, I used to work for Cutco Knives, their products are overpriced shit, and their sales methods are entirely guilt based. It’s one thing to walk into a Target, see some expensive junk and NOT BUY IT, it’s a different thing when somebody comes to your home, and pressures you into a sale.
So given that I used to have one of these horrible jobs, I greeted the salesman by asking him how he was compensated. Of course he gets a commission for every sale he does, but he also gets paid for referrals. I’ll get to this later. At Cutco I was paid to give the sales pitch, and commission for every sale over a certain dollar amount.
Now oddly he asked me twice if I’d heard of the Kirby product, and I told him I was aware of the product, and I knew people with Kirby Vacuums. He never followed up with asking me what my opinion of their product was.
So when he asked me to get out my Dyson, I told him it wasn’t necessary. He insisted, and I gave him the option to leave then. When he asked why I didn’t want him to show my all the claptrap of of how my awesome vacuum wasn’t as good as his junk, I told him his product was crap, and all I wanted was for him to clean my rug, get some contacts, and leave.
He was nice enough at this point to dispense with the propaganda and clean my rug, and I wrote up some contacts, which were mostly a repeat of Rockstar’s contacts, and my cell number under the alias “Thomas Collins“.
He finished, and asked me how many names I had. I had written down 6. He THEN informed me that he needed at LEAST 10 to get paid. I should have simply torn up the list, but I wasn’t planning on raping this guy.
He asked me to just come up with 4 more names, even if they weren’t people who would buy from him. I informed him that all the people listed were people I KNEW wouldn’t buy this crappy vacuum, and I didn’t dare give him a contact that might result in a sale. He responded “You hate this product THAT much”.
Well let’s get to the results. He shampooed my rug….and it did a worse job than just a regular run of my Dyson…and it used chemicals and the rug needed to dry.
So yeah, if you get called by one of these scammers, unless you have a REALLY crappy vacuum tell them to GO AWAY. Seriously, even the free cleaning with total stonewalling isn’t worth it.
Also note that this unit costs TWICE as much as my Dyson at full retail price (I got mine on sale), so yeah the Kirby is TERRIBLE.
Oh god this winter keeps getting worse!
MBTA service may not be fully restored for another 30 days, and only if there isn’t another major snowstorm, according to MBTA general manager Beverly Scott.
WTF?? Yeah this winter has been cold and snowy, but is hasn’t been THAT bad, I personally think we’ve had far worse winters where the T was actually RUNNING! So yeah, I have no idea how I’m going to get to work tomorrow, but I’m going to try…and possibly fail.
So yeah, on a lighter note, I had an awesome day, and the baby and I went playing in the snow.
I want to have the wife take the same picture of me against this snowbank which is on what was once my patio. Really I could recreate this EXACT image, as this particular bank is about 8′ high, so 6′ me against it would look about the same.
But yeah right now the whole WORLD is a luge course!
We went fast, and she dragged her hands against the banks and COVERED her legs with snow while laughing like a maniac.
Also I told the wife: “My life would be less surreal if I dropped acid when you got on the train in the morning.”
Yep, she’s putting my right crock on her left foot…while she’s already wearing shoes. I really suspect this baby might be crazy!
So yeah, spring MIGHT happen, but at this point in time I have my doubts!
So Bob sent me an interesting study in a previous post:
Over the last decade – after 60-plus years of steady increases – the number of miles driven by the average American has been falling. Young Americans have experienced the greatest changes: driving less; taking transit, biking and walking more; and seeking out places to live in cities and walkable communities where driving is an option, not a necessity.
…Millennials (those born between 1983 and 2000) are the nation’s largest generation, making their transportation needs particularly important. They have the most to gain or lose from the transportation investment decisions we make today, as they will be affected by those investments for decades to come. If Millennials drive fewer miles than previous generations as they age – and if future generations of young people follow suit – America will have an opportunity to reap the benefits of slower growth in driving. These include reduced traffic congestion, fewer deaths and injuries on the roads, reduced expenditures for highway construction and repair, and less pollution of our air and climate.
This makes a lot of sense! First up, I live in the internet age. Many of my closest friends live near me, and I see in person frequently. Still many of my best friends live far away from me. Take my compatriots on The Squirrel Report, Jay used to live locally, but I met him online, Breda and Alan live in Ohio and Texas, and I was friends with them for years before I finally met them…yet they were indeed friends. I have several people I consider good friends who I have NEVER met in person, thanks to the internet.
Then comes cultural things. The wife and I had our honeymoon in Burmuda. It’s a damn tiny island in the middle of the Atlantic. I got to asking the locals if they found being in stuck in such a small area an issue. To my surprise many said they not only were they not bothered by being confined to such a small island, but that they rarely left their part of the island. A similar story was at a friend’s wedding. There was a rather magnanimous dude in a full dress kilt in the wedding party. As you might expect he was from Scotland. He was a talkative chap and we talked about a number of things, but the interesting story that goes with this post is his comment on drunk driving in America. See in the UK most people live and work in the same town, and at the end of the day they go to the corner pub. At last call, drunk as they may be, they simply walk home as they live right there.
Now fast forward to this weekend, of course I was snowed in at my parents place in Maine, still I was reading articles in a local magazine about the fancy restaurants in town. My home town has become quite the foodie place, and I’ve enjoyed the crap out of that when I’m home for the Holidays. Still it’s not like Maine is any different than anyplace else. My town in Mass is full of great eating establishments, and I assume that most places are the same.
All of this translates to less travel. My cousin in the very Northern part of Maine would talk about driving late at night down to Bangor, which is over 100 miles from where he lives to get food. Those days are over. Now you can find any dining you want just up the street. Why drive and burn time and gasoline when you can just walk up the street?
All of this translates to less time on the road, and less of the bad things that happen on the road.
But remember, guns are the problem…because we can’t look at facts that don’t fit the narrative!
Would be a mass shooting, had he used a gun:
A California man was indicted for fatally stabbing his parents, his two young sons and the family’s dog, authorities said on Tuesday, in killings the man said were his “destiny”.
So sick, but hey, it wasn’t a “Gun Death” so why be concerned?
I won’t lie, I like Glam, and when a good portion of the Cherry Poppin Daddies (who are probably my favorite group) decided to do a Glam side project, I was all in!
What do you think?
Let’s dive into this turd!
So let’s first dive into the linked article:
The Economist charted the forecast for 2015 and beyond, based on an analysis of federal data by the Center for American Progress
So left-wing psudo news site Vox is reporting that left-wing “Research” firm has made an anti-gun discovery! CONFIRMATION BIAS ALERT!!!!
Still what’s really interesting is the predictions made. The overall trend in the “Gun Death” graph AND the “Auto death” is a decline, but the “Prediction” for “Gun Death” is for it to stay the same, but for “Auto Death” is to continue to decline indefinitely.
What’s behind this change? It’s not that gun violence is getting worse. The number of deaths from car accidents is on the decline, thanks in some part to fewer drunk driving deaths. Deaths from gun violence also dropped, along with all violent crime, since the early 1990s. But gun-related deaths have failed to drop significantly further in recent years, held up by homicides, suicides, and accidents.
So our gun and violent crime rate is DOWN, and your graph says they will no longer decline, so we should ban guns!
Good job guys!
