Regulation of Soma

So I’ve had this post bouncing around in my head for a few days. It was first inspired by Lyle’s comment over at Joe’s.

Where’s the First Amendment map– one that tells us where in the U.S. we may and may not practice free speech? The First and Second are actual parts of the constitution, but the abortion map is blue all over (to protect the children I guess) and you don’t need a permit.

Linoge makes a great point about if one had to go through the same process to carry a gun as cast a vote. Go read the whole thing, its very good.

Tuesday the ONLY vote I cast that won was Balot Question #1. It eliminates the sales tax on alcohol, which was #1. a new tax created by our Governor, and #2. the Tax is applied on top of an excise tax, so essentially you’re paying a sales tax for paying an excise tax, as well as a tax on whatever booze you’re buying. Honestly the liquor laws in Massachusetts are so stupid, I could care less what happens to the industry, I buy most of my spirits in New Hampshire, where the state runs the liquor stores, but unlike most state agencies the prices are top-notch, and the selection is great. They also frequently have sales and specials which further sweetens the deal.

Needless to say it was a tax and I generally oppose them. There were other tax initiatives that got voted down, but the booze tax was slain. This lead me to think about Soma in Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World”. “Brave New World” is often comapred with Orwell’s “Nineteen Eighty-Four”, but one interesting difference between the two stories is while the main characters essentially live in a prison built by their totalitarian government, the characters in “Nineteen Eighty-Four” are generally miserable and just going about their day, in “Brave New World”, the characters are generally happy because they’re stoned out of their minds on Soma. Sure Winston Smith is always smoking Victory Cigarettes and and Victory Gin, but as smokes and booze they’re described as being poor examples, and they can’t compete with the velvet sledgehammer that was Soma.

Get people twisted on some serious drug and they’ll endure a lot more pain.

Ok back to the United States. Let’s say the “A” and the “T”, of ATF were all treated the same as the “F”, part. To buy alcohol you would need to pay money to have a few drinks with a trained expert under controlled conditions to make sure you didn’t go give yourself alcohol poisoning, or mistake a bottle of Isopropyl alcohol for a bottle of vodka. You’d be lectured on the differences between spirits, beer, wine, and where it was appropriate and legal for one to consume them. You would need to spend $200 for this class, but it would include about 3 drinks (and you better like what they serve because the instructor is mixing what he wants, not what you want), and you’ll need to pay an additional fee for your Alcohol Consumption card, as well as $50 for fingerprints and passport photos. If you were to buy alcohol you’d need to fill out an intricate questionnaire, and then wait for the bartender or store clerk to confirm you are of age, and not a habitual drunkard, drunk driver, or prohibited drinker. That last one is a tricky one, let’s say when you were in high school you snatched your buddies keys and hid his car in a corn flied. He freaked out and reported the car stolen, and you plead no-contest to auto theft because you didn’t have the money to hire a lawyer and that’s what the public defender recommended. Now you’re 70 years old, have never stepped off the straight and narrow since your stupid prank days….you still can’t buy a drink for yourself. If you do get caught drinking a beer on your front porch you can wind up in prison for “possession of alcohol”. Oh and a non-prohibited person can be imprisoned for the same thing if your town declares that alcohol may only be consumed at bars. Spirits above 100 Proof would be considered “Dangerous” and banned, as well as high-capacity containers. Beer can only be sold in 12 oz cans, Spirits in Pint bottles or smaller, and Wine can only be served in those ridiculous individual bottles.

How about Tobacco. Same card and training ideas and fees. At 18 you’d be allowed to buy a pipe, or a cigar, but you’d need to wait until 21 to buy cigarettes. Furthermore pipes can only be made of wood or clay. Pipes made of other materials, or of non-traditional shapes have been declared the #1 choice for drug users, and those pipes and also rolling papers are banned. You may buy loose tobacco, but you may not buy rolling papers. Again any purchases would be done through a dealer with both paperwork and a confirmation call. Smoking may only be done at designated smoking clubs, and all tobacco and lighters must be transported in locked containers between shops, the home, and clubs. Also in the home tobacco and lighters may NEVER be stored in the same area, and NEVER be stored unlocked, as to prevent access by children….even if no children are in your home. Cigarettes may only be sold in packs of 5, and must be of regulation sizes. 100s or larger are banned.

How well do you think such bullshit would go over if the smokers or drinkers of the world were treated the same as gun owners?