“Gun Death”: Radical Diet


Steve Hill, a neighbor of Thomas, noticed that Thomas had not left his home in several days. “Bo usually went on his celery run each day about the time I did my relaxin’ on my porch. I noticed his pickup hadn’t moved in several days,” said Hill.

Thomas, having read that celery takes more calories to digest than it contains, decided to go on a “celery diet.” Celery diets have become mainstream, as part of the “negative calorie diet” revolution. Thomas made a daily pilgrimage to the local Wal Mart for fresh celery….The official report from the coroner’s office listed the cause of death as “starvation.” Further details of the report revealed that Thomas had eaten so much celery that his body used up all its energy trying to digest the celery. The report went on to state that “the energy stores were overtaxed with processing the celery. This caused a lethal negative calorie state that was unsustainable by the body, resulting in death.”

Before going on any diet, especially “extreme diets” or fad diets, please consult your physician.

WOW! It doesn’t say what his body type was, or how much fat he had left (It IS possible to starve to death AND be fat if the body can’t use the fat stores fast enough to replenish their cells), but to imagine that a good steak dinner, or even some fried tofu could have saved him.

Also can you imagine the fanaticism to die this way? He must have been in AGONY for most of this diet as his body’s fuel line got airbound, and yet he didn’t try and mix in a little nutritious food in to keep his body running!


h/t Wallphone

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