Uncle has a gunporn post up where he asks this question:
when did gun names start becoming just numbers?
People quickly point out that most guns are either named after their year of patent, year of first issue, or simple +1 after the last model number (Glock is a great example of that the Glock 17 was the 17th patent held by old Gaston, and his next gun was the G18, followed by the G19) others like S&W use elaborate codes, like the Model 42 is a J-Frame .38 Revolver with a completely concealed hammer (centennial) and the gun is all carbon steel. The 642 is essentially the same gun but with an aluminum frame and a stainless cylinder. 342 same idea just a titanium cylinder. 242 is a bit of a different breed of critter, but you can see how they’re related.
Seems that all the cool guns out there have lame names. M1911? LAME name, awesome gun. S&W 638? Great gun, total formula name. Kahr PM45 again formula name. Mosin Nagant M1891? Year of issue, way to be original Sergei! Even the FAL, besides the name looking like “FAIL” at first glance, its just an acronym for “Fusil Automatique Léger” AKA “Light Automatic Rifle”. That’s like buying the new Ford “Four-Door-Sedan”! Its not a cool name, its practically a parts number! Walther PPS? “Police Pistol Slim” Not quite as bad as “Nintendo Wii” but close!
Now what about guns with cool names?
The Desert Eagle! BADASS! Yeah it sounds rugged and tough! too bad its a boat-anchor-heavy gun with a solid reputation for jamming, that fires expensive ammo. Really just relegates this gun to BBQs and range days, rather than being any good at hunting, self defense, or life in the trenches.
Para Ord PDA and Warthog, first they’re just M1911s at their root, on top of that they’re poorly made 1911s with oddball parts and a good history of being unreliable. Furthermore the PDA (Personal Defense Assistant…GREAT Name!) uses their LDA trigger which takes the best part of the M1911 design and ruins it puts a massive failure point in your gun. The Warthog eats from Magazines that would be cheaper if you cast them from pure gold.
CZ VZ-61 Skorpion I would LOVE one of these in its origonal military configuration of full-auto with folding stock. Still in that form its a .32 ACP closed-bolt SMG with a high cyclic rate that eats from a 20 round magazine. Hardly winning stats right there. The civilian version is a semi-auto pistol in .32 that’s about 20Xs the size of every other .32 on the market….yeah, cool name, and I think they’re neat, but not great guns.
Cobra Patriot! America! FUCK YEAH!….yeah….horrible gun.
Taurus Judge? I AM THE LAW! Yeah I don’t even need to throw up a link, you guys know what it is, and know its lame.
Chiappa Rhino! Great Name! Sounds tough and ugly! Neat looking guns too! Too bad most reviews I’m reading they really aren’t ready for prime time.
Seems to be that a gun’s name is inversely correlated to how good a gun it is.
The only exception that comes to mind are the civilian a law enforcement revolvers from Colt. The Python is one of the greatest revolvers ever made, and the name shows it. There’s also the Anaconda and Diamondback, as well as a few more snake names. I dunno if I can consider my Colt Trooper to be a cool name or simply a utilitarian name, I will say the Detective Special is a good name for exactly what the gun was. Of course Colt doesn’t MAKE them anymore. They also don’t make the Colt Woodsman, nor the Colt Vest Pocket.
While I was typing this I also got thinking about Beretta, The “PX4” and “CX4” are kinda utilitarian names, but adding the “STORM” to the end it gets cooler. Also all those cat-named guns like the Couger, Bobcat,Tomcat, Cheetah, those are cool names, and they’re cool guns. All they need to throw in is “Hellcat” and “Sex Kitten” to round out the line. Also “Jetfire” is a cool name, even tho its just a wimpy .25, they’re still nice little guns.
So maybe there are some other guns that are worth a mention.
